The Mighty Mallards, Episode 6; Flying High

Welcome back to Episode 6 of the blog, formerly known as "My Old Club". I obviously can't call it that anymore, since I've never played for Ballinamallard, so the new name is: "The Mighty Mallards".
I did consider The Mighty Ducks, but I'd prefer to not get sued by Disney and that hockey team from Anaheim. So, yeah. TMM.
Wait... That... That looks familiar...
YES! It is a double whammy! TMM is both The Mighty Mallards and, you guessed it, The Manager Mann.
Cos I am that clever!

Well, actually I only just realised that, as I wrote the TMM part. A happy accident. Just like my birth. #SelfBurn.

Right, enough of that.
Before we start, I just want to say a MASSIVE thank you, to each and every one of you who reads my blog and takes the time to share and comment. It honestly means a lot to me.
This whole thing was initially started, so my fiancée didn't have to listen to me babble on about FM. Over the last 4 years, I'm pretty sure that she has reached the limit a while ago.
I never thought I would have this many visits, but as of today, we are WELL over 1500! 
Absolutely insane!

Thank you, every one of you!

But, no more mushy mush. Let's get into it.

Last time, we left Northern Ireland after an amazing, insane and unbelievable promotion fight, that resulted in Ballinamallard going up into the Danske Bank Premiership.
It was a long and hard battle and it looked like it'd slip away a couple of time, but Mallards just wants to fly. So we did. Right into the best league of the land.
This time, we will unpack the ENTIRE first season in the premiership. I promise that it won't be too long. Maybe. We'll see. I tend to get carried away and end up spending 2-3, sometimes 4 days on a post.

Preseason.
As always, I spend quite a lot on the pre-season, trying to sort the optimal tactic and get some money in the bank. 
But the first order of business was to strengthen the squad. As always, when you get promoted, you need to strengthen. I mean, unless you're Wolves and already has half the Portuguese national team in your ranks.
But, alas, we're not. And, we are already in a questionable position financially which resulted in the board approving a bunch of transfers, that I would never have approved. And some that were too good to reject.

Cliftonville decided that they wanted to throw their entire budget after Ryan Mayse and the board said: "30 thousand? Yes, please!"
Which meant that I lost one of my main attacking forces. That was really annoying, even more so, because I honestly do not understand where they have the money from? Is that not a lot of money for a small club in NI? I certainly think it is, but what do I know.
Nevertheless, Ryan left and now the wonderkid who came through last year, Oliver Sackman was my main man up top. With homegrown Recee Byrne playing second fiddle.
(The eagle-eyed reader has noticed that Oliver left in January for a massive amount and we'll touch on that later.)

John Currie, another major force in the team that got us this far, was lured away by the English League and Kidderminster. They threw a fair amount the other way, but 23 thousand, won't get me another Currie. And I like my Currie! (Terrible pun, I know.)

So, I had some money in the bank and needed some reinforcements. Lee Stacey came in to take the gloves and be the man that rules the back.
Jack Malone was going to be my new main man in the middle, while Sackman (still in the club) would be the goal-getter.
I had a good core in the team before the season started and I felt pretty good. 

Yes. Look at this. What a player. For NI. Obvs he is nothing compared to McEvoy and Sackman, that we looked at in the last post.
But let's get the season started.

True to my nature, I sorted a lot of high-quality teams to come and visit us in Northern Ireland and they all accepted.
And I'm very happy with the results. I didn't expect much to be fair, and getting out of it with a win over a young Juventus team, was very impressive. A couple of close games and narrow losses to Blackpool and Bolton was also to be expected, but when you get close to a result, not getting it is obviously a little upsetting.
But all in all, the preseason was a success. The team was looking good going forward, but pretty shaky in the back. Well, as long as you just score more than the others, you'll be alright!

I went into the season with faith in the team and a plan to secure a spot in the Championship group. So a top 6 spot was the minimum requirement!

August and The First Five:

Our first game was against Glentoran. A team we hadn't played against before, but they had been tipped to be in the relegation battle with us, so I wanted a win.
And we certainly got one! A very solid 3-1 and we were off!
The mood was high and even though several of the players were still drunk from the celebrations, every one of them performed as I had hoped.
Larne, without @Coxie unfortunately, was the first real test. The current champions and the bookmakers favourite to do a back to back. So we lowered our expectation and just wanted to limit the goals they would undoubtedly score.
So a 3-1 defeat was acceptable. After all, you can't expect to go toe to toe with a team that has had Coxie as a manger. They just gel in a different way.
The mood was still pretty high when The Crusaders came by Ferney Park. Though they were one of the better teams, I hoped that we could maybe cause a little upset here. That is why we are here anyway.
And we did! We managed to keep them at bay, even though they absolutely dominated us from start to finish. I was pretty scared that we'd get our arses handed to us, but somehow, and via a great performance by Stacey in the goal, we managed to get out of it with the skin on our noses.
A "boring" 0-0, I'd take that every day of the week.
Institute in the Cup was another one of those "I don't really mind", so I fielded the entire reserve team.
It was a very scrappy victory, but at least it showed that I had some potential in the reserves. Maybe not for the first team this season, but at least I knew that I could count on them for the Cup against the smaller teams.
Glenavon. What can I say about them? I just don't like them.
And the match showed as much. Plenty of fouls and freekicks and I'm sure that there were some subtle kicks and elbows in the box.
But we secured a hard-fought victory and with 10 points, we suddenly found ourselves in 3'rd.
Well aware that this was only the first of a long series of hard-fought games, I prepared for the inevitable downswing.

September and The Tiresome Three:

Ugh. As soon as I just SEE the name: "Dungannon" I get angry. They tormented us in the Bluefin Division and I just had a feeling that they'd do the same up here.
They went up as champions and were currently sitting at, yup, 1'st. Unbeaten and on a roll, we rocked up, ready for a fight. I had told the team to get stuck in and just hammer the goal at every chance.
Little did it work. The Swifts took the lead early on and never really looked back.
We reduced twice in the second half, but it was never really close. They were in control and we had to feed of the scraps that their defence left us. Which, to their credit, was barely anything.
Surely they won't dominate this league as well?
The next two were very boring. I almost did a Bale and took a nap!
Newry City where rock bottom and we clocked in another 6 points, still firmly in the top three.
I was quite pleased with that.
If I somehow managed to secure third, we'd get into the EURO Cup II Qualifiers. European football in Ballinamallard would surely result in a statue. Or a buste as least. Hell, I'd even take the original modified CR9 buste.
I'm getting ahead of myself here! Easy now. Let's. Let's get through the main season before the split and THEN we can start designing my statue.

October and The Forgettable Four:

Right. The only thing worth mentioning here, is bloody Glenavon! Didn't I say that I didn't like them?! HUH! DID I NOT!? 
Argh. They just make my blood boil! Bloody Glenavonians...(??)
They battered us. We lead the game 1-0 until the 90+2 minute, when they decide to score. I. Was. FURIOUS! I know, I know. It is a cup game and I don't really care. But I just want to beat Glenavon, regardless of tournament its in.
In extra time, I used all my subs and got in the big boys. And then, in minute 118, they fuc*34yrf score again!! COME ON MAN!! Just bloody secure that defence. Clear the ball! Hoof it! I'm so glad that I have learned to control my temper because that really irked me. Ouuuhhh... I'm getting angry just writing this!!
...
...

Right. But 7 more point and somehow we found ourselves in 2'nd. I was a little shocked.
Where did this come from?
I'll tell ya'! I came from Michael McEvoy, Recee Byrne and Oliver Sackman. That attack, along with an absolutely stunning Lee Stacey in goal, gave me the belief that we could make something here. Write our names in the history books, to be amongst the stories told around the campfire (or smartphone flash, for the kids).
"Now kids, let me tell you about that time, when a little team won the Double. It aaaalll starts in a little town in Denmark, where a young boy kicks a football for the very... first... time..."

(I forgot to get November, but that was only 2 games. 1 loss and 1 draw, so chalk up another point.)

December and The Shit Seven:

My good friend, Eminem, once said: Snap BACK to reality! Oh, there goes gravity.
Which is very true for December. As the cold set in, in Northern Ireland, so did the frost in the joints of my players. Apparently. 
I mean. I fully expected Larne to spank us again, but somehow we managed an early goal and then we held on tight. As tight as my daughter on my moustache. Which is really tight btw.
And then. It got REALLY ugly. I had made no changes, apart from the normal rotation of course. When Crusaders battered us, I thought it was just a little blip. I didn't want to think that the magic had gone away and they had figured us out.
So I kinda just... Chilled. Told the guys that it was okay and we had done a lot better than I thought. They all seemed happy and I thought that I had turned this around.
So we welcomed Glenavon with open arms and I gave the best XI a return. Let us get this show on the ROAD!! YEEEHAAAWW!!!

.... Or not... Look at it! 3 games where we let in 4... read it... FOUR goals!!! That is scandalous.
How? What? Why?
I am at a loss for words. I kept the Bext XI on the pitch, because I was a bloody moron and really believed that we could turn it around.
But after the embarrassing defeat to Ballymena, I just HAD to make a change. So I subbed half the team, after shouting them to hell and back and fining 6 out of the 11 players.
Enter 5 of the reserves and one kid from the u/18.
Newry City became the team that turned it around. We cruised to a lovely 3-0 and the mood in the club was back on the up. Adding another 3 points after the Portadown game, brought a little smile back on my strained lips.
The 9 points saw us drop to 5th and it did feel like
Right. Let us make January the month we turn it around.

Januar og De Sindsyge Syv!:

That's danish and means the mental seven.
Because. This. Was. Mental. Or, sindsygt! (So the screenshot will be at the end of this little blurp.)
Right, So. Linfield game knocking and being an institution in NI football, hopes were not, shall we say, particularly high.
Now, I had gone in and changed some things in the tactical approach and changed all the personal and role-specific instructions, hoping that this would allow them to flourish and be the players I knew they were.
So. When the fulltime whistle went. Everyone was in a state of shock.
We had won. But not a hard-fought victory. Not a close call.
An absolute banger! 4-1. We sent the legendary Linfield team, back to where they came from, with a defeat they'd struggle to get over for years!
Cliftonville parked their bus at Ferney Park, thinking they could get a draw, back home.
They did.
NOT! A tight game that was looking like a draw until the 78'th minute, when Sackman showed up and secured all 3 points.
There was a certain buzz in town again. People were talking about "The Young Guns" in the pubs and at the chippy.
And when Dungannon announced their arrival for the 6'th round of the Irish Cup, both me, the team and the fans had a feeling that something might be brewing.
Dungannon was still leading the league, but there is just something about a Cup game.
Lets breeze past it.
2-1 and on to the next round! But more importantly, the next league game.
Coleraine got battered 3-0 and Glentoran got a whooping and sent back with a resounding 4-0.
I was BUZZING. We all were. Glenavon tried to put a stopper to us and somehow managed to get away with a draw, but then we got back on the horse against Crusaders and dragged home a 1-0 victory.
I mean what the hell!
7 games, 16 points. That is amazing! We suddenly found ourselves in 2'nd again.!

Look at that month! January was amazing and beautiful.

Oliver Sackman has been my standout man, With 15 goals, the bigger clubs started looking towards Ballinamallard. There were a lot of League 1 and 2 clubs, and, unfortunately, a couple of clubs from the European Mainland. Primarily Italy, where Torino was the biggest among the lot.
And I understand that. Did you see Sackys abilities? He is an amazing player and I still do not have the slightest idea, how he was a regen in bloody Northern Ireland. I could understand if I had been a club in the top league somewhere, in the top 10 countries. But not here.
My fear was that an offer would come through, that the board would accept on the spot. 
I get it. So I decided to try and be clever. I put his valuation at £500.000 because ANYTHING in that range would be okay. And then maybe sneak in a sell-on clause. You never know.
But I had already accepted that I would lose him.
When you're a young player in NI and a Serie A club comes sniffing, you're bound to be interested and wanting a move.
And there were still 2 weeks left of the transfer window. *FingersCrossed*

February, March and The Eerie Eight:

Well. Nothing lasts forever. Certainly not in football at least.
It was a harsh awakening all of a sudden and an unlucky loss to Ballymena was the start of a horrible run.
I once again let the kids loose in the Cup, because I felt that the main team just needed a little rest. I gave them 5 days off to relax and spend some time with the family.
And when the kids sent us through to the Quarters in the cup, I felt that I did indeed make the right choice.
The Swifts were the next game and them still being on top, I wanted a draw to keep us in the top.
And we failed miserably!
Oh dear. They scored twice in the first half and we never really showed anything to get back into the game. It was a pretty dominant performance from Dungannon and you can't complain when you lose to a better team. C'est la vie.
And then shut it!
Lets get back in form against Larne! It was a tight game. We scored early in the 8'th minute and then they equalised 3 minutes after. Possession was split pretty even at 48/52 in their favour, but we had the more shots. Off target, sure, but at least we were getting them off.
In the 84'th minute, god ol' Sacky scored to 2-1 and I was one big smile.. I knew I could count on him. Always a danger in the last third and you always had the feeling that he would be a game decider.
And he was. 
At least until the 90+1 minute... Typical. We just completely shut off in when we're leading in the last minutes. It is a story that has been told a million times in Ballinamallard and now I had to repeat it again. 2-2 against Larne was alright and 1 point is always better than none. Doh!
But then we lost a stupid game to Portadown. A team that I really did expect us to blow out the park.
Something had to change, so I threw in my old keeper, Martin Curran. I say old, he's still only 18, so I guess "old" is a matter of perspective.

But in he came and so did a couple of new defenders. I could only get better.
And it kind of did? I guess that 2 draws are better than nothing. But I'm sure you know how the games went.
If you don't? Let me summarize! 
The Mallards score early in both games and are in control until the last 10-15 minutes. Then a highlight starts and I almost pee my pants.
Because I just know that they will score. And so they did. In both games, they scores in the last 15 minutes and the game just died again. I mean. It is SO annoying that we just throw away the games that late in the game. Honestly. How hard is it to just hoof it! I had the game plan set for that as well. Have the lead in the last 20? Hoof it and just smash them in the tackles.

And then it happened. Torino launched a bid for Sacky, on the last fuc*ing day.
It was not as much as I had hoped, but they offered me  £250.000 and a 30% sell-on clause. 
I mean. I never expected the board not to say no and they didn't disappoint.
My lovely man went to Italy and Torino and I started missing him immediately.
And then the weirdest thing happened.
Coleraine bought 2 of my players, for a combined £50.000.
Coleraine? Of all the teams. They had money? Well. My board are dicks and accepted the offers. Both of them. And my team was decimated! Loosing 4 players on the last day. Terrible. The only good thing was that it gave me some money to work with. If only I had time to get some replacements in.
Damn. I'll have to finish the season with an almost new team. Not easy.

So. this time I really didn't care about the Cup, because we suddenly found ourselves just over the Relegation Group. 'Twas a harsh awakening, when you go from 2'nd and challenging for the title, 'till finding yourself trying to avoid entering the Relegation Group.
A 2-0 loss to Carrick didn't rock the boat at all and I kinda just felt like I wanted the season to end, so that I could get some new guys in.
Linfield came around and left with all 3 point and a lucky draw against Coleraine and two of my old players, left me a bit weary of the future.
We finished the main season at 6'th. We could still reach 3'rd and at least we made it into the Championship Group. So we did have a decent season at least. Though, fighting for the top 3 would have been the icing on the cake. But it was not to be.
Let's hope that April would be better.

April and The Final Five:

With only 5 games left in the season, I needed nothing short of a miracle to get out with the skin on our noses.
Dungannon showed absolutely no mercy and though the score was 3-3 until the 85'th minute, another blunder in the defence, let us shell shocked and we had to do something to pick ourselves up. It had now become a mission of getting every little thing out of the last games.
Afterall, Dungannon were the Champions elect.
The one that really sticks out, is the massive blow out against Ballymena. I honestly never thought that this would happen. They took the lead early and added another shortly after. We reduced in the start of the second half, but then they just turned up the gas and ran us over. I don't even want to talk about it, if I am honest. I'm pretty sad with that.
A win against Crusaders gave me a little hope to get out with our dignity somewhat intact and another draw against Larne was a good result. Ending the season with a draw against Glenavon was okay and we could add another 5 points to the total. 
But, as I'm sure you've figured out, we finished the season on 6'th. Terrible ending after an absolutely blinding start!
I mean, we did do really well and I'm actually really happy with the season overall.
And now I had to look at how to strengthen the team.
I had the money, thanks to Torino, so it was just a question about who wanted to play for a mid table, semi pro team in  Northern Ireland.
Not many I think, but I'll try. I now had the summer to sort it and maybe I could lure some danes to join?
I would certainly have to try!
...
...
And then I saw something...
I had another match? What's this?
A Euro Places Semi Final Match?
Interesting.
An olive branch was extended and I just had to grab it.
Our opposition was the bloody Glenavon side that I already hate so much.
So let's destroy them!

Euro Cup Places Semi Final Football Match in Northern Ireland where 1 team can win a spot in the Euro Cup Places Final match in Northern Ireland and get a way into European Competitions and I think that this has gone on for long enough, so I will stop and get on with the actual post. Cheers!

Or... not... Or not... We can just... Roll over and be HUMILIATED AGAIN!!!!
Glenavon scored after 19 minutes and then added another right after.
I honestly, honestly, give up. I can't do this. They keep breaking my heart.. Bloody idiots!
What? A penalty in the last seconds in the first half added time?
Yes! Barbu is the best I have for that. Come on. Keep us in the game!
Nope. Missed. And the highlight was terrible! He didn't even hit the goal and force a save! He completely miss kicked it and hit the stands!
What have I done to deserve this? Tell me please!
Right. Second half. Come on. We can still save this!
YES! Harry Robinson scores after 51 minutes and suddenly the team burst into life again!
Let's Go!
...
...
Or.. Not... Or just stop playing.. 8 minutes later, Glenavon scores again and makes it 1-3 and puts the game out of our reach.
So when they added another after 84 minutes, no one really cared. Just finish the season.
And yes, I know. I should have made some subs, but I had already given up. We were just poor.

So with that horrible effort, the season finally draws to a close.
With money in the bank and a chairman that I do not like, the rebuild will be possible, but challenging.
I'm going to leave you with that, as I am tired and need a break from being disappointed.
Well, at least I've managed to get my Continental C License.

Right. Enough for today!
When we come back, we'll look at how I can strengthen my team up here. 
In the meantime!  Take care, watch out for each other and wash you god damn hands!
See you in the next one!